FROM THE MOMENT
by Garin Samuelsen
from the moment
we are born
no matter the culture
and no fault to anyone
but to everyone
we are coerced and forged
into a cultural ideology
a linking system of beliefs
and attachments
that construct
either the awakening of the mind
or as we see in our cultural matrix
the imprisonment of the mind
as most
are conditioned
into this mind imprisonment
we collectively
regenerate the dysfunctional system each day
without consciously knowing
we are doing so
we become so entangled into the cultural morass
most become so engrossed in attachments and beliefs
they have no idea they are entrapped
they blame other
instead of looking within
and have come to believe
that their beliefs and thoughts and images
their cultural framework
is the only way
and see
it as who
we really are
we are taught to
separate ourselves from each other and nature
to always move forward
that the past defines us
to fight against
to entertain
to run away
to buy into a role
that ownership is normal
and essentially
to ignore our culture’s
deep dark cavernous
underbelly
like most
i was coerced
into this methodology
to walk the
supercilious delusional path
that had been
lived over countless generations
subtlety i was
forced
through
heart numbing education
without
knowing
i was being
mind enslaved each and every day
into a system that is fear based in structure
and thought that this is simply
the way
the truth
and the
light
how wrong they were
how wrong i became
like everyone else
no matter their
role is culture
whether rich or poor
black or white
young or old
through
education
i learned to distract
from essence
and my inherent wholeness
we were all formed and manipulated
into the roles
we shall play out
in the adult world of our society
instead of listening into my holiness
education taught me
to move away from the mythos of wisdom
but to listen to
the robotic noise of conditioned thinking
to the noise of authority
to listen to the noise of judgement
to listen to the noise of the triple edged trident
of fear, ignorance, greed and security
to listen to the noise of progress
to listen to the noise of righteousness
and the noise of damning theology
to listen to the noise of entertainment
and to the noise of being someone
other than me
to listen to the noise of patriotism
step by step
i learned
the subtle indoctrinations
of our cultural ideals
expectations given
of the right life to live
though it creates great suffering
for our cultural mythos
based on the idea of separation is
the implementation of fear and thereby sorrow
so year after year
as i moved through grade school
into high school
onward
i became more and more
another part and participant
in our global culture
feeling separated
walking upon
the isolated terrain
of rugged individualism
and taught to believe in
our evolutionary right
to naturalistic domination
i bought into
the ideology of rising above
to rise and be somebody
to create an
artifice of success
develop my costume
and perpetuate my many masks
of cultural functioning
to compete against
muy classmates
fight for my future
war against my enemies
I lived by the
dicatations of authority
capitalism and greed
the American ideals
of manifest destiny
no matter what
they did to other
cultures and lands
i was a christian patriot
proud and angry
holy righteousness
became the comfortable
mask i placed
as myself
yet fear was
the self
generator
born out of
this dystopian
cultural ideology
like all others
born into this culture
underneath,
if i were to look
i was a
dysfunctional mess
my mind enslaved
through the
onslaught of my
education
into this cultural reality
anxious
scared and isolated
bullied
and tired
wearing masks
to hide the suffering
wearing masks
to make myself
feel connected
i walked the chosen paths
and yet i was lost
i was
an illusion
walking towards
foreseen goals
and yet they
held no meaning
i walked and walked
guided
yet guidedless
i journeyed
to a land far away
trying to find
the elixir of life
the holy grail
nothing worked
until one day
a friend
asked if i wanted
to try something new
a medicine
he said would
blow my mind
at this point
i didn’t care
and was willing
to try anything
to release the hell
i was
he simply said
stop running
stop hiding
and stay there
ii knew
had the potential to either destroy
consume or
wake me up
with a slow contemplation
I turned and said yes
it seemed easy
yet impossible
he said walk
into nature and sit
from there
I walked
something
began to happen
within me
something i had no words for
as I walked through
the tall conifers
i needed to stop
and was left alone
on a gentle bluff
looking out over
a beautiful river valley
while white puffy clouds
floated lazily
across an endless pallet
of sky
over an extended time
thoughts began to slow down
I just kept letting them go
noticing and letting go
noticing and letting go
everything became deeply quiet
time stopped
wholeness entered me
and my ego dissolved into mist
everything i thought i was was not
I saw in utter clarity
that wholeness is myself
that all is all right
that we live in a cultural dreamstate
a hellish prison
constructed into us
from the time we are conceived
and yet i could release it
simply by listening
and not holding on
in letting go
i discovered that
here all that was and is
infinite whole and immeasurable
i knew that the holy grail
was not somewhere out there
but had always been
within myself
I had never really stopped before
nor meditated without a goal
maybe it was I was done and just ready to listen
which forced me to stop and listen
to dive into wonder
and let go of
who i thought i was
this seeing
let me know that wholeness
is always here
and our culture
is a dystopian dreamstate
that perpetually creates division and violence
upon the landscape of this beautiful earth
violence upon other peoples
upon all creatures
all due to ignorance and fear
and the conditioning
through the way
we are educated
now i listen
without trying
a seeing that has no agenda
i walk without effort
i live and move
within pathless lands
always home
always within the center of all being
the center of the universe
where there are
no radii or diameters
no circumferences
but what is
flowing
and so now
language
lies fluid
just ways of pointing
i weave poetry
weaving into
all i come across
into all i meet
i leave it all behind
while letting go into the songs
of the universal symphony
i listen to the wild grasses ripen
to the forests old and rich
whispering their ancient interwoven wisdom
i dive into the ebbs and flows
and flow
with the windless chime
from unspeakable emptiness
that has no word
that lies immeasurable and
wondrous
I am it
you are it
everything - soil, bacteria, rivers, flora, fauna
moon and stars
all of us are included
in the grand symphony of wholeness
